the struggle

being broke ain't no joke, might sound funny but it's true
don't kno how bad it is til the broke youngin is you
cursed my pops cuz he left us in the homeless shelter
mom alone wit four kids was the cards life dealt her
so she stress out, scream at us when things go wrong
we just kids but the growin process take too long
left alone at all hours, mom workin three, four shifts
and still only enough money to cop our clothes from the thrift
when you young it don't matter, cuz you don't kno no different
but then you grow up and see how all them other kids livin
mom workin and pops is gone, so you got mad time to kill
so you figurin out the streets, while she figure out the bills
paycheck to paycheck, she stuck payin bills and the rent
plus no checks comin from pops, all his money been spent
vic and joy needed a break so they up and left out
so im alone wit my moms and lil mike in the house
and it hurt bad to see my moms left so helpless
can't help me neither, so i don't kno where the help is
thot i found it, got my own fam runnin the streets
im lookin out for my boys, they lookin out for me
got involved with the drink, the drugs, and the stealin
anything to help escape from these things that im feelin
but you kno it all catches up to everyone eventually
just hope you get out 'fore u sent to the penitentiary
as for me, i was still just thirteen, it's crazy
when they came and made momma say goodbye to her baby
and when i got out, house arrest and therapy sessions
did nothin to help me out, didn't teach me no lessons
so i was back at the same things i was doin before
cursin pops and the world for makin my fam so poor
it didn't hit me til vic came back and did just that
it was just the right thing to get me back on track
still ain't wanna live broke, so college is where it's at
three years til high school's over, then ill never look back
knew i couldn't make it out unless i gotta scholarship
lookin back on my pops gotta do better than he did
so i made it, got the school to pay my way
but still problems at the crib, livin day by day
pops livin on disability, askin us to help out
hard for me to keep from tellin him to get his self out
but i changed the mindset from negative to positive
cuz you can't let your situation dictate how you live
after one year of college the tough times still here
just hopin and prayin the fam can wait three more years
im still just seventeen but in my eyes im a man
cuz me and vic gotta get paid and help out the whole fam
moms and mike just gotta bide their time until graduation
cuz then we paid, and it's time for the real celebration
but dang, that's still two and three years away
we gotta find out a way to pay the bills for today
so when we home we rent ourselves out for any old job
our moms dependin on us, we all dependin on God
gets so bad sometimes, wanna head back to the streets
just to get some food to eat and some shoes on mike feet
but we can't cuz we tryna live life honorably
and strive to be the men that my momma raised us to be
so we still here right before my eighteenth birthday
wonderin when these tough times will be on their way
but it's all good, we just pray to God and give thanks
cuz He carried us when we was stuck wit goose eggs in the bank
so we move on and focus on things we can control
we might be lackin in money, but we wealthy in soul
just gotta keep goin when we think we can't take it
only takes one of us to blow and then we all make it
plus i been prayin so much that im bleedin from my knees
doin it all for my fam and my future wife and seeds
so i put faith in God, my mom, my sis and my brothers
being broke ain't no joke, but shoot, we still got each other

mainstream rap

i think mainstream rap is a big reason why so many black people are underachieving and turning to gangs, drugs, and other negative things rather than helping themselves and their families by furthering their education. if you think about it, who are the role models for kids in inner-city communities? rappers and athletes. everybody thinks that the "only way out of the hood" is if you can shoot a ball or rhyme some words and the thing is, that's not true. however, the more it's drilled into the minds of young people, the more they will believe it. the more they see gangstas and thugs shooting each other and selling drugs on tv, the more they will emulate these people and turn to these types of activities.

and the worst part is that nowadays you're looked down upon if you don't project an image that is "hood" or "street" or "hard" or "real". even middle class youths these days, like many of my friends from back home in Sterling, VA, would rather dumb themselves down to fit into the mold that hip-hop culture has given them than actually try to enrich themselves through all of the channels of opportunity that they're presented with. it's a sad reality that our youth are continuing to be fed negative reinforcement that leads them down the path of self-inflicted wounds such as involvement in drugs and criminal activity.

rappers set horrible examples for black youths because they encourage the types of things, such as drugs, guns, gangs, etc., that only increase the probability that our young people will end up either dead or in jail. so every time someone in the black community blames "The Man" for their failures and shortcomings and for holding black people down, they should instead analyze the messages they listen to in their music, those of hate, ignorance, and negativity, and then ask whether "The Man" is the one feeding these messages to their kids and pushing them into this never-ending cycle of failure, delinquency, jail time, etc....because while the majority of executives at major music labels are white, it's still the black artists who choose to write and perform these types of songs.

Untitled......

God provides the light that His children supposed to follow
got the Word of Him in me, so my messages never hollow
i try to stay humble, cuz pride is hard to swallow
til u swept off the stage like bamas at the Appollo

i got the soul of a soldier and the heart of a champ
runnin full speed ahead, not worried about a cramp
used to live a sinful life, but now my heart’s been stamped
by the Man upstairs, so im livin in His camp

our sins froze the water, but we tried to keep rowin
cuz we was lost at sea, but His lighthouse kept glowin
never stopped movin forward, got the itch to keep goin
cuz God’s love was comin down like North Pole snowin
biggest thing movin, might as well be Samoan
and the crazy part about it is His love keep growin

so lemme stop here and pause to bow down
all glory goes to God, upon His head rests the Crown
once was lost in sin and sadness, but thanks to Him im found
used to be deaf and blind, but He’s granted me sight and sound

i try to offer up absolute faith and love
absolute obedience to the Lord, God above
but it’s hard to stay faithful in a world full of sin
evil spirits everywhere tryin hard to pull me in
so u kno every night, im on my knees givin thanks
life’s about wut’s in ur heart, but people focus on the bank

what do u think will matter when ur spirit leaves the earth
how much ur shoes cost or how much ur house was worth
the measure of a man is not what he’s done for himself
it’s how much he’s given to others, so its time to spread the wealth

ok, u fresher than me, but really homie that’s irrelevant
im tryna enlighten minds usin rhymes and lines that’s Heaven sent
cuz God gave me a mission and im just focused on livin it
keep shootin for the sky, kno i haven’t reached my limit yet

cuz life is like a gift but sometimes it's left wrapped
and some of the richest mines are sometimes left untapped
the world is like a nut that's waitin to be cracked
so it's crazy how some cats be sayin they feel trapped

u kno the hardest thing for me personally to believe
is the number of opportunities that people fail to seize
it's like people fail to see the signs that God is givin 'em
if u scared to chase ur dreams then u'll never be livin 'em

if u afraid to shoot for the stars then u'll never shine bright
so i always step to the plate when im in line for the limelight
and i prepare every day so that when the time's right
i'll shine the first time, cuz u can't rewind life

the plan is to keep my face to the sky, but my feet on the ground
im tryna change-up my path like i was standin on the mound
i been through the storm and i came out a changed man
glory to God first, so hard work is in the game plan

can't change what i been given, but i kno ima make the best of it
came from humble beginnings, but that don't mean i accepted it
this life is like a challenge, never stoppin til i've bested it
on my grind til i die, ain't no time for me to rest a bit

Race

I’m feelin all alone in a sea of strange faces
Watchin people scurry to the same old places
Every single one has their own routine
And their own group of friends and their own lil’ scene
The funny thing is how I always end up in between
Since I’m not white or black I might as well be green
It seems like everyone always tries to put me in a box
And I don’t fit where they want and so they always seem shocked
But still I refuse to mold into their cookie cutter shapes
So they give up and walk away because they know they can’t relate
So I’m stuck. A stranger in a strange place
And all because they try to tell me that I’m only one race

See here’s the lowdown: I gotta white mom and black dad
And the story of their marriage is really kinda sad
Cuz they married with the dream to make the world a better place
But nowadays they can’t even stand to see each other’s face
It’s ironic, but then again so is our society
My teacher told me I wasn’t white so I told her not to lie to me
But they say that slavery ended over a hundred years ago
So why do I get shady looks from policemen everywhere I go
It’s sad cuz I’m judged for the black race’s reputation
We might preach equality but we’re still a racist nation
That’s why 9 years ago after the September 11th attacks
Muslims were immediately transformed into Reconstruction Era blacks
They were beaten and humiliated and their property was vandalized
And yet the crimes weren’t solved, the guilty criminals weren’t tried

So even though blacks are told “racism is dead” all the time
We still feel the pain of being suspected for every crime
Isn’t that funny, I just lumped myself in with the black race
It’s like a comedy act, but I’m the only one wearing blackface
“Blackface?” all the kids say, with confused looks on
Cuz that’s not the type of stuff the historians write books on
And even after overcoming the prejudice that Martin Luther fought
College campuses are still the only places black history is taught
Aah, college campuses, like that of storied UVA
Back to the scene of my confusion from earlier today
Cuz even though I’m made of equal amounts of black and white
I still get approached by cops when I’m out late at night
And white kids who otherwise wouldn’t even say hello to me
Approach me on the street to ask me if I’m selling greenery

So even though we elected a mixed man as our new president
I still get asked on my own campus if I’m a Charlottesville resident
Or a “townie” as they call them, with disdainful expressions
I’m multiracial but I can’t escape from this overt racial oppression
Today I was going to buy some books at the UVA bookstore
Saw the security guard and thought “what’s he givin me that look for?”
Then the clerk came to see if there was something she could help me find
And neither one of them relaxed ‘til I had left the store behind

So even though my dad left and we live with our white mother
People don’t believe her when she shows pictures of me and my brothers
They can’t be her kids, cuz she’s a nice white lady
And they just can’t picture her having a colored baby
It’s like I live in a paradox that confronts me every day when I wake up
And it’s got me thinkin that this might be time for a societal shakeup
Cuz sometimes I look at life and can’t seem to understand
What the hell is happening or who the hell I am

The solution, it seems, is to erase race altogether
If we were all the same shade then we’d get along better
But for now, since we’re not, I’m navigatin between the shores
And waitin til my race doesn’t matter anymore

Poetry

Poetry?
It’s more than just the words to me
More than end lines rhyming perfectly
Like incisions made surgically

To me it’s like a circus, B
Like a roller coaster twirlin’ me
Like a rocket launcher hurlin me

So Far Away

Past the troubles and the worryin’, the cities and the scurryin’
Past the thugs on the block: dime bags and glock carryin’

It takes me past all the hatred and sorrow in the world
Past the corruption of lil’ boys and prostitution of lil’ girls
Past their hidden potential waiting hopelessly to be unfurled

So, So Far Away

Past reality into worlds that may never exist
To places only in your mind, close your eyes and picture this
A world where every man is accepted regardless of race
There are smiles all around, not a frown on a face

A place where hard work is valued more than daddy’s reputation
And for every person’s actions there’s an equal ramification
And every little boy and girl can get the best education
And there’s no need for wars ‘cause the world is one nation

So, So, So Far Away

A place like this seems farfetched to some
Those who slang dope to get their family out the slums
Those who work 9-5 but still feel like a bum
‘Cause they hate their job and their boss makes them feel dumb

But it’s these types of people that really need to see it
A trip with Poetry leaves no regrets, I guarantee it
Only visions of success and the will to want to be “it”
Whatever “it” is, but that’s your own little secret

That’s why Poetry’s my travel agent and my airline of choice
Because it opens up my ears so that I hear my own voice
And it gives me the optimism that makes my world seem
Like everyone in it is living Dr. King’s dream

‘Cause poetry will take you to the Mountaintop and beyond
To touch the top of King Arthur’s crown and the tip of Merlin’s wand
It can even take you to the past to relive the best of old times
‘Cause believe you me, Poetry’s way more than just the rhymes.