doubt

sometimes i stop and think that i be thinkin too much
cuz when i look to the future my heart be sinkin too much
it's like ima alcoholic who be drinkin too much
start to get down, so he get to drinkin and such

but for me, the problem's not even the drink or the dutch
it's these doubts that always got me feelin way out of touch
a straight loner: like starsky, without his man hutch
cuz im crippled and fear of failure's my metaphorical crutch

i guess im just afraid of the things that i can't see
even tho my moms said the dark is more afraid of me
but deep down i can't even fathom how that could be
feel like im locked in this cage with no way to get free

and then them army cats yellin "yo be all u can be!"
while the streets tellin me i need to be a OG
plus, my teachers be sayin "boy, get a degree"
but what if i find out that none of that is for me?

i mean i know i got talent just don't know how to use it
got a long list of skills, if u'd care to peruse it
my mind just plays around with ideas that amuse it
marchin to its own drummer with its own sheet of music

sometimes it's just hard to find one path and choose it
cuz the future's fragile, and im afraid im gonna lose it
beatin up my brain, man, these thoughts have abused it
i guess all this thinkin dun battered and bruised it

and at the end of the day im still stuck in the same spot
lookin at the happy people tryna figure what they've got
cuz marshall mathers told me "you only get one shot"
and if you miss out, you're a has-been and a have-not

man i want the king size bed but i got kicked to the cot
so im rollin the dice and pullin down the nob on the slots
cuz it's a gamble, they say you can't blow up if it's not
in life you gotta be ice cold before you get red hot

i guess what this means is im pullin out all the stops
puttin everything on the line, and givin it all i've got
and if it all works out, u'll be hearin my name a lot
but if not...blame it on these doubts that got me on lock